Sumaiya Hasi
Oniket Research Group
In the first week of Falgun, a question often comes up in gatherings: ‘Love or arranged marriage?’ In fact, this question is far from trivial; it is a profound reflection of Bangladesh’s social mindset, values and transformations. This question is not merely about choosing a wedding arrangement; it represents society’s evolving psychological framework.
Social psychology suggests that human decision-making never occurs in isolation; it is always shaped by social context, environmental influences, and the conflict of internal values. Viewing love marriage as a symbol of individual freedom, and arranged marriage as a form of familial pressure, is itself a product of social conditioning. What we believe is largely constructed by our environment, education, and social narratives.
Love marriages are dominated by emotion, but the pressures of reality, financial issues, and family conflicts can weaken the relationship. On the other hand, arranged marriages are no longer monolithic; Rather, it has evolved into a form of ‘curated love’, where familial experience and individual choice work in tandem. This shift is itself a testament to a transformation in social mindset.
A Shift in Mindset: An Evolving Process
Bangladeshi society now stands at a crossroads. On one hand, there is faith in traditional family structures and social status, while on the other, the individualistic attitudes of the new generation. The resulting tension between these two is what social psychology terms ‘cognitive dissonance’ or psychological conflict, where a person simultaneously holds two contradictory beliefs.
The rising divorce rate is an external manifestation of this conflict. It is not a breakdown of relationships, but in many cases, a reflection of women’s growing self-respect and awareness of their rights. Women are no longer prepared to tolerate abusive or unsatisfactory relationships, which is a positive and significant shift in the social psyche.
Social Structure and the Politics of Identity
Bangladesh’s social structure is still deeply family centric. Marriage here is not just the union of two people; it is a relationship between two families, two social identities. The ‘Social Identity Theory’ of social psychology According to social identity theory, people place great importance on belonging to a family and a group when constructing their own identity. Therefore, while it is difficult to completely dismiss the role of the family, it is also no longer possible in this transformative society to accept their undisputed authority.
The division between love and arranged marriage is not, in fact, the core issue. Psychology suggests that the long-term success of any relationship depends on mutual respect, emotional security, communication skills, and the ability to adapt to change. It is not the nature of identity, but the daily investment in relationships that builds the future. That investment should be supported and fostered by society.
Moving beyond society’s binary perspective is now a matter of time. Treating marriage as a ‘win’ or ‘loss’ Rather than viewing it as a ‘win’ or ‘loss’, the true social transformation lies in understanding marriage as an ongoing social and psychological process. This shift in mindset can play a far-reaching role not only at the familial level but for the overall well-being of society. There is a need for social, leadership, and governmental campaigns on this subject. So too is there a need for social advertising, and for this philosophy to hold clear sway in art, culture, and literature. In the Bengali language and culture, from Rabindranath Tagore to the present day, many timeless poets, writers, philosophers, and cultural workers have shed light on this philosophy. For they have created thoughts and reflection that transcended their time, enlightening generation after generation with progressive ideals and philosophy. If we are now concerned or troubled by a divisive perspective emerging within a social custom such as marriage, then it is our guides who must dispel that hesitation and apprehension.
