Sumaiya Hasi
Oniket Research Group
Almost everyone must face an unwritten rule of society: the tendency to measure one’s personal life by other people’s yardsticks. From birth to death, every step a person takes seems tied to society’s invisible threads.
When the question concerns something as deeply personal as marriage or choosing a life partner, society and family do not remain mere spectators. They step in as the ones in charge. Yet neither society nor family can ever guarantee a person’s private happiness or peace of mind. To show a healthy mindset, we must break out of the confines of superstition and recognize the individuality and privacy of each person.
The Grip of Superstition and Blind Belief
Many superstitions and blind beliefs remain deeply rooted in our society, keeping free thought imprisoned. A person’s own choices, thoughts and preferences are set aside, and social dogma and the pride of so-called family prestige are given priority. When people cling blindly to these customs, society becomes trapped in a web of unhealthy thinking.
Because of these superstitions, a person cannot live freely. Superstition makes people dependent on others and turns other people’s opinions into the key that decides their fate. The only way out is to cultivate a thoughtful and healthy mindset. No society can move forward without a scientific temper and a modern outlook.
“What Will People Say?” The Biggest Obstacle to Free Thought
A serious disease that has seeped into every corner of our society is the bogeyman of “What will people say?” or “What will society think?” Out of this fear, people sacrifice their inner selves. In this long, exhausting race to please society, people strangle their own free thinking. But has society ever been able to mend a broken heart? Has it ever eased the anguish within a person?
The answer is no. Society can only judge outward appearances; it cannot hear inner weeping. When a person constantly judges themselves through others’ eyes, their individuality and original thinking are lost for good. Without the capacity to think independently, a person becomes nothing more than a puppet in society’s hands.
Happiness Is Entirely a Personal Matter
Happiness is not a social or collective matter; it is entirely a personal feeling. What brings peace to someone’s life, what gives them mental fulfilment, is best understood by that person alone. Those around us, or society, cannot decide whose life is a success and whose a failure. A life that looks successful in society’s eyes may be deeply troubled within.
Conversely, what society sees as ordinary or out of place may, for the individual, be the source of profound peace. Trying to mould happiness into society’s template is nothing short of foolishness. Outward glitter or social applause can never bring deep inner calm. The edifice of true happiness is built on inner peace and spiritual contentment.
The Marriage Decision: Two Families’ Insecurities Versus Individual Freedom
Marriage is one of the biggest and most important decisions in a person’s life. It is not merely the union of two hearts but a commitment by two distinct individuals to walk together. Yet in our country, marriage often seems to be a grand social ritual in which the opinions of relatives and elders weigh more than those of the couple themselves. When senior members of both families join the process, it becomes entangled with needless arguments, concerns about social status, and the pride of aristocratic lineage.
The person who will spend a lifetime with their partner, and who must shoulder the full responsibility for the consequences, often finds their own wishes and preferences treated as trivial. By giving too much weight to family and social opinion, the younger generation is often forced to tie their lives to the wrong person.
Yet at the end of the day, whose life it is, whose happiness and peace of mind are at stake, should have the first and final right to decide. Advice drawn from the experience of elders may be welcomed, but when that advice hardens into blind dictate or a decision imposed by force, it becomes a curse on personal life.
The Policy Role of the Ministry of Social Welfare: An Institutional Form of Personal Protection
As an educator and a student of sociology, I believe that the Ministry of Social Welfare must play a specific, institutional role at the state level in protecting this individual freedom and peace of mind. The Ministry’s task is not to interfere in people’s personal decisions, but to build an institutional framework that protects individuals’ fundamental rights and privacy from social pressure.
Professional family counselling services: The Ministry of Social Welfare could set up “Family Counselling Units” at the district and upazila levels, staffed by skilled social workers and psychologists. When a couple or an individual faces family or social pressure, they could seek professional advice in a confidential and trustworthy environment, without becoming victims of gossip and slander from society or relatives.
Raising awareness to eliminate social superstition: To remove the mental sickness centred on superstition and “what will society say?”, the Ministry could launch extensive public outreach programmes. It is vital to run mass awareness campaigns on the importance of individual freedom, the need for privacy in married life, and women’s dignity.
A dedicated helpline and psychological support: To prevent unwanted social pressure, forced marriage and psychological abuse within families, the Ministry of Social Welfare could operate a round-the-clock national helpline service.
Protection-centred mediation: Under the Ministry’s oversight, the mindset behind village and urban salish (informal arbitration) should be reformed, bringing in trained, gender-sensitive and legally aware officials, so that an individual’s unwillingness is not forcibly overridden in the name of social cohesion.
Keeping Personal Life Away from Society Is Wiser
In conclusion, to preserve one’s mental health, peace and self-respect, it is wise to keep the important chapters of personal life away from society’s prying eyes and unwelcome interference. Society never takes responsibility for anyone, yet it never hesitates to criticize. So, rather than destroying our lives at the urging of others or under social pressure, we must find the courage to make our own decisions.
To build a modern, progressive and free-minded society that pierces the darkness of superstition, we must first recognize the freedom of the individual. The state and the Ministry of Social Welfare should create a social environment in which advice is something sought voluntarily, and in which every person has the courage to hold the key to their own life in their own hands.
